durtbagz: vacation does a body good

wowee wow wow. i never realized how important taking a vacation is in life.

of course, i’ve always loved taking vacations because…uh, they are fun. der.

but seriously? after this short one, i’ve learned that they are mentally and physically good for you. and necessary. yay for that!

on friday, i flew to denver and drove up to my old stomping grounds of breckenridge, colorado for a long weekend. the two weeks prior to this trip, i had not slept more than about four hours a night due to stress from durtbagz. (doesn’t that sound funny? durtbagz is stressful. uh huh.) the night before i flew out at 8:30am i did not sleep a wink and i’m pretty sure this was due to my stress turning from durtbagz to the fact that i wasn’t sleeping. awesome.

i’m a great sleeper and i love to sleep. i’m a good 8-10 hours a night sleeper and i love my bed and bedroom. so the first week i was so focused on marketing durtbagz and trying to figure out how i was going to reach half a million college kids that i stopped sleeping. then, when i did not get back into my sleep routine the second week, i started freaking about about not sleeping. by thursday night last week, i was convinced at 4:45am that i would never fall asleep again in my life. in short, i was about 99% sure i was becoming an insomniac and would be one for the rest of my life. not a super feeling.

the stress from working way too much and thinking about pretty much nothing but started affecting all other areas of my life too. i exercise regularly and i hit the gym 4-5 times per week, every week. the lack of sleep made me way too tired to exercise, which of course, did not help things. i also ate worse (not that i eat all the require servings of veggies/fruit each day, but i don’t eat fast food either). whatever was easy and around i ate (see: cereal and mac n cheese). this? also not helping. and i became a wee bit sassy, particularly with my husband, and not that interested in what i like to call “doin’ it!”. also, unlike me. i am sassy, but purposefully, not accidentally. and to be blunt: i like to do it.

so at the end of two weeks, i felt horrible. the worst i’ve felt in YEARS by far. not sleeping is one of the most isolating things i’ve experienced (on top of the already isolating experience of building a company by myself).

and then i hit colorado/vacation. and things improved dramatically almost instantly.

this summer, i’ve been in phoenix since the first week of june. have any of you been to phoenix in the summer? why? do you have a death wish? are you trying to prove that self combustion exists? or are you trying to see what if a ‘dry heat’ really is different than the humid midwest? are you an idiot?

basically, i’ve been shut in my house for the last three months. which i always knew wasn’t that good for me, but it became obvious how physically and mentally bad it really was for me. although, i hadn’t slept in almost 48 hours, as soon as i got out of the car in breck, i felt better.

the knot in my stomach loosened. the spasms in my back started relaxing and my heart slowed down a little bit. except for when i walked up hill anywhere. there is still no air at almost 10k feet.

that night, i slept and i slept hard. and i dreamed. and i felt like a new person when i woke up. i think this is due to multiple things; all relating to my surroundings.

first of all, i was in a town that i absolutely love. it’s clean, it’s green, it’s cool. secondly, i was surrounded by people i absolutely love. some of my favorite people from phoenix made the trip with me (except my husband, who was being a bachelor in vegas with a buddy who’s about to get hitched). and i had some of my favorite people from breck around me, some of which i hadn’t seen in years, and i had some of my favorite people from college with me.

saturday was the best day i’ve had in months. it was beautiful; sunny and warm. i was with friends i don’t get to see very often and i had zero plans or responsibilities. all things i had not experienced in months.

on sunday morning, one of the girls on our trip gave me a huge hug, saying she was so happy because she hadn’t seen me have that much fun or be that relaxed in a long time. when other people start noticing that you’re not yourself, it’s can’t be good.

i got home yesterday evening and after just three days of vacation, i feel like a new person. i slept 10 hours last night. i feel like i’ve been able to put durtbagz in perspective again. i’m of the mindset that i can always do something more to push durtbagz to the next level. or there is always more i can do to get our name out there. or i can always make a better sign or come up with a better marketing campaign or more contests to get people excited about durtbagz. and it’s true, i can always do more. but not at the expense of me.

after taking four days off, i can’t believe how much better i feel all the way around. i’m excited to work again and i’m definitely more motivated than i was before. but i’m also excited to not work. i feel like i can see the boundary now of when to dive in and when to back off. of course, i won’t always be able to just shove back when i need/want to. however, considering i am the company, i feel pretty confident that i can make the changes i need to get more of a balance.

the biggest change is that i feel okay about not working constantly instead of feeling like i’m slacking or letting myself down. and that is a huge change for me. i feel like i can somewhat let go of the issues that i don’t have any control over and i feel confident that i’m doing the best i can with the issues within reach at this point in time. this is not how i felt before breckenridge.

i had no idea how much i had run myself down over the summer until i took some time to rejuvenate. and the results are proof that vacations work. lucky for me, i get another mini one this weekend to celebrate my 30th birthday on sunday. and we are already talking about when/where we’ll go this winter to hang out in the snow and ride for a few days.

so, lesson learned. vacations are a good thing, even little ones. i can’t imagine what will happen when we go somewhere for a whole week or 10 days. i’ll probably come back looking like i’ve been botoxed with a perma-grin on my face. then, and only then, will i look like i fit in, here in scottsdale.

except i’ll still have my real boobs, a brain, and i eat so thankfully, i still won’t blend that much.