durtbagz: 2008

we rang in the new year at what could have passed as a wedding reception from 1988. fantastic.

about every 20 minutes or so, someone in the group would say, ‘whoa, look at that guy!’ or ‘what is that guy doing?’ or ‘is that her hair?’. one lady stood at the same spot at the bar all night and had a creepy ‘eyes wide shut’ mask on her face. super weird. she wore it all night until midnight. then she took it off and suddenly behaved as if she were your long lost grandma. it was an interesting night. participating in it sober made it even more so ( i was the driver).

for $25 a couple, we got 5 drink tickets (the husband got 5 drink tickets), multiple necklaces (including one that glows in the dark), party hats and tiaras, noisemakers, champagne at midnight, free sandwiches after midnight (good thinking on sopping up the alcohol), and some of the best people watching ever. probably of all 2007. wait, nope, i was in the vegas airport once last year and that’s always the winner. so, this was a close second.

you know how sometimes when people are on the dance floor, they act like they are singing the song that is playing, while they dance really hard to it? and then, inevitably at some point, they get the words wrong and try to make a move or do something to hide it? yeah, that guy was there. big time. and he was sweaty. and more than once, we busted him grinding. ILL.

oh yeah, i forgot about this part. there was a table next to us full of random people. the clock hits midnight and everyone is hugging and kissing. lots of kissing. gross kissing between people that you know had never met before about 20 minutes ago. anyway, one of our friends was single with us that night. and one of the random dudes leans over and yells, ‘hey! that girl wants to be kissed!’ and points to a girl sitting across from him at his table. which sounds horrible, now that i write it, but really, it could have been the high point of her evening. you don’t even know.

this girl. there was a reason this girl hadn’t been kissed at the stroke of midnight. probably multiple reasons. anyway, time kind of paused for a second when this guy yelled that. everyone at our table did the following moves in this exact order at exactly the same time: 1. lean back, 2. look left, 3. eyebrows raise, 4. look down, 5. grin, 6. look at our buddy, 7. take a drink. our friend’s response? ‘oh, that’s okay,’ an waves her/him off, and takes multiple big gulps via straw from his drink. and that was the nicest thing he could have done or said.

we should have seen it coming. the guys at this table were dancing to vanilla ice not two minutes before. and i don’t mean bobbing their heads; they were dancing. feet getting off of the ground, dancing. their whole table cleared in a flash when nelli’s ”hot in here” came on. (i don’t think i spelled either of those right, but i haven’t danced to nelli since about 2001 so it’s out of my element.)

anyway, that’s how durtbagz rang in the new year. it was actually pretty appropriate, now that i think about it.

how was everyone else’s?

PS look at google trends…the number one search right meow? the ‘flat belly diet‘. um, yeah, here’s how you get that: pick your parents. idiots.