i scored the biggest interview yet. bigger than tomkat. bigger than amy wine-my-face-is-falling-off-house. bigger than toilet lady.
kristin davis, aka charlotte from sex and the city.
if you watch TMZ or read perez, and i’m willing to bet most of you are guilty of one of those, you know that kristin has some photos floating around the internet of her in mildly unpleasant positions. well, maybe not so unpleasant for whomever is taking the photos. with the sex in the city movie due out in may, i talked to kristin about her untimely photos and upcoming movie.
DB: so, kristin, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. i am a huge fan of sex in the city.
KD: oh good. i’m glad you like sex and the city.
DB: yeah. huge. i watch all of the reruns on TBS late night. i think i’ve seen every one at least four times.
KD: wow. you do like the show.
DB: yeah. i really do. so let’s talk about these mysterious photos that have popped up.
KD: well, they actually me. i know my publicist said it didn’t look like me, but that’s because they were taken five years ago. it actually is me.
DB: in all of them?
KD: yes.
DB: why did you take those photos?
KD: i didn’t. i couldn’t. i was busy.
DB: i mean, why did you let someone take those photos of you like that? so un-charlotte-like.
KD: well, i wasn’t exactly expecting him to leak them on the internet. and i’m not really charlotte. she’s just the character i play.
DB: true. it’s still shocking, though. i mean, i can’t believe that it’s really you. you seem so calm about it. what did trey think when they came out?
KD: well, first of all, trey was my husband on the show. not my real husband. trey doesn’t really exist so…
DB: i know that. but still, it must have bothered him a little bit.
KD: uh…well. the person that played trey was a little bit surprised. but he wasn’t upset, because we weren’t really together. besides, it was five years ago. i was younger and in love and stupid.
DB: yeah, trey was such a dope. and so weirdly stuck to his mother. who was also a douche, i might add. how you ever dealt with her, i’ll never know.
KD: ah…actually, i didn’t really have to deal with her. i just acted with her. we were all just acting for the show. we weren’t really married and that’s not really his mother.
DB: oh, i know that. i just can’t beleive that someone so anti-BJ would have photos circulating of her in that position. i mean, you hate doing that. you’re always telling the girls that, how it makes you gag and everything.
KD: well, that’s charlotte. she doesn’t like doing that and that’s a big part of her personality and attitude. but in real life, i’m not like that.
DB: well, what did miranda think when she saw the pictures?
KD: you mean, cynthia nixon?
DB: sure.
KD: she just laughed. i mean, she’s got her own stuff that’s written about her all over the place.
DB: yeah, no kidding. having a illegitimate kid will do that.
KD: i’m sorry?
DB: you know…her and steve.
KD: oh, on the show.
DB: uh huh. now, how do the girls treat you now that these photos have surfaced? i mean, week after week, there you are, in the diner, talking about how much you hate giving oral sex. and yet, there you are, right in front of them, proving otherwise. do you worry that they might begin to think you are hypocritical?
KD: um…no, because like i said, we were just acting on the show. i was just acting like charlotte and they were just acting like their characters. none of us are like them in real life. we have totally different and separate lives than the people we portray on the show.
DB: of course. so, what does harry think of these pictures coming back to haunt you five years later? does he know trey?
KD: sure, they know each other because they act on the same show. harry (uses air quotes) doesn’t care one way or the other. he knows it just someone being a jerk.
DB: wow. i can’t believe harry isn’t more upset. i’d be pissed if my spouse showed up like that on the internet. especially, you being a mother now and all.
KD: that’s just on the show. i don’t have any kids in real life. i’m not even married in real life. all of that is made up.
DB: okay, then. you’re saying that everything on the show is fake and not like you real lives?
KD: yes.
DB: and so nothing that happens on the show actually happens to you in real life?
KD: right.
DB: so, “samantha” isn’t really a whore?
KD: no.
DB: and “carrie” isn’t really a writer?
KD: correct.
DB: and miranda really didn’t divorce her husband and turn into a lesbian?
KD: no, that part is true.
DB: huh. so in real life, you’re actually kind of a whore, cynthia is now into the ladies, sjp kind of looks like a horse, and what’s the last girl’s name?
KD: kim catrall
DB: right. kim is actually not a whore, but instead a total bitch?
KD: (pauses for a while) yes?
DB: great. that’s all the time i’ve got. thanks for talking, see you on the big screen in may.
KD: wait, tha-
what? i had tennis. geez. besides, none of this is real. duh.
