you CAN carry a bowling ball in Durtbagz.
Instead of telling you about sweet things you can carry in your Durtbagz, I’m going to give you a quick top 10 things you cannot carry a Durtbag. At least, I would not be caught dead doing any of these with mine.
10. A tiny dog. Dogs are not accessories. If I see you carrying a small dog in your Durtbag, I will take it back from you.
9. A fake baby. We all know, only real babies belong in Durtbagz.
8. Mayonnaise. Because it is just sick.
7. Any Mizzou gear (sorry Karen). FAIL.
6. A light saber. I shouldn’t even have to say that but there’s always one idiot that will try.
5. Blue tooth ear pieces. If you are a “blue tool”, you will not be a Durtbag. Not on my watch.
4. Anything pertaining to Mariah Carey. Not only will I take it back, I will burn it because it’s now contaminated.
3. Guns. This is not the 1800’s, you do not need to hunt your food or protect your land. Unless you live in South Phoenix, in which you probably have to do both.
2. (this pertains to guys) A sleeveless shirt. Unless you are going to the gym, YOU NEED SLEEVES.
1.The Olsen Twins. I know they can fit in one; both at the same time, but there is just too big of a creep factor involved. Huge eyes and no teeth scares the crap out of me.
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Dang….don’t my Concealed Carry Permit let me tote my gun in my Durtbagz??? I mean, ya never know when some yaahoo might try to snap the chain on my wallet & make off with me & my old lady’s beer money.
billy joe ray bob smith, its a different story when you’re talking about your old lady’s beer money. i know her, and i know how she gets. in that case, i’d make an exception.
Mental picture of Olson twins in a bag…. Use this picture as your guide but multiply it by 2, put them in a Durtbag, and add a tiny Starbucks cup to each clawed paw:
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2008-06-02-ghayeaye.jpg
You know what else you can’t put in a Durtbag? Soup. Too much sloshin’ about. And you’d leave a trail of soup behind you.