durtbagz: signs, signs, everywhere signs
June 25, 2007 by Mullins
first i have to tell something funny. over the weekend i was with my grandpa who turns 91 next month. i learned that when i was a kid, he owned a hog farm in kansas and they used some technique that he learned from hog farmers in scottland and holland. he was the first one in the US to use this type of technology and as a result, would travel around the midwest to the ag-schools and lecture…on manure. finally, an explanation for my obsession with the word poop.
today, i spent the better part of an hour, tallying the votes for signs from the survey. as it turns out…just about every sign was voted for at least once. there are a few that stand out as winners (crosswalk with pedestrian reaching for other pedestrian’s butt is clearly the number one, and mullets were a big favorite). so this tells me one of two things: either all of the signs are that funny or none of them are very funny.
well…wtf is funny, anyway? (i’m listening to my AC/DC station on pandora so if you sense some sass…).
i mean, is a wheelchair rolling downhill into an open alligator mouth funny? hell to the yeah, it is. why? because when in the world would that ever happen? maybe in some evil zoo somewhere, but seriously? come on, meow. i don’t have ESPN
, i’m not a psychic, making these signs as a prediction of the future. what you see in this sign is MADE UP.
is a sign with fat bathroom symbols funny? ooohhhhh yyyeeeaaahhh. why? for the very opposite reason: this picture is a snapshot of reality. have you been to a national park
lately? i have. and this is what a realistic version of that sign would look like. (i switched my pandora station to gypsy kings…still sassy
). do i laugh at them in real life? no. but what’s wrong with a little dose of reality? oh, it’s okay for ‘oilslick’ to call someone ‘firecrotch’ on tv, though…
and what about mullets (pronounced ‘mu’-LAY)? mullets are universally funny. if you don’t know what i’m talking about or what they look like, just visit your local cabela’s or bass pro shop, (commonly referred to as pro bass). let me ask you this: how many lawyers, doctors, or people in the corporate world do you know with a mullet? what? did you say none-point-none? you don’t say…yet, it’s okay for everyone to laugh at those, even though when you see one, you think of a redneck or a trailer park. whatever, it’s true. (aqualung is playing now and seems to have done the trick). just like it’s okay for everyone to laugh at fat bathroom people, just like it’s okay to laugh at a wheelchair grinding down a rail at a skateboard park.
picture these on bags on college campuses and high school quads. think of them on tee shirts or stickers on bikes, cars, skateboards and just about anywhere in your average ski/surf town
. mean? no. wrong? quite possibly. funny? i hope.