i have everything i need to ship these bags and i can’t. at least i can’t send all of them immediately like i intended to. why, you ask? the united states postal service, that’s why.
prior to getting the bags, i researched the best way to ship them, aka the cheapest yet most efficient. that method turns out to be via the us post office. this is unfortunate and here is why: they are liars.
yes, i realize that is a steep claim, but i am not a liar and therefore that makes said statement true. and they are run by the government and the apple does not fall far from the tree.
on their website, they tout free shipping products, including boxes, envelopes and labels because they can only be used to ship via the usps. perfect. that saves me a chunk of money, considering i’m shipping around 40 boxes to all parts of the lower 48. you can either order them off of the website or get them at your local post office, which they designate on the site between those locations that are equipped to handle all shipping needs and those that are basically just po boxes. i find the closest location to handle shipping and hit the place yesterday, extremely excited to get these bags out to their new owners after all of this freaking time. after waiting in line for 30 minutes (not exaggerating) i get to the front and ask for 40 shipping boxes in the right size. the guy looks at me like i’m nuts.
‘i can’t give you that many,’ he says. so, of course, my reply is, ‘why not?’.
‘i’m not supposed to because they don’t’ want us handing out large numbers of boxes for free.’
wait, what? that is how they sold me on shipping with them; free boxes. nowhere does it say ‘free shipping if you only want six boxes otherwise you are screwed and should order online because we are lying and also super unorganized and unmotivated to fix that and our top priority is making more mailboxes that look like star wars characters and don’t those almost look like the real thing?’. ah, another us run government agency exceeding it’s potential.
after a short debate with the employee (which btw, i’m pretty sure they only hire those that are actually primed to go postal), i was given six. six boxes instead of the 40 i need. and i was using my best polite voice and smile. no deal. awesome. why don’t i just order them online, you ask? because it takes 7-10 business days to get here and that will delay things by two weeks, minimum. not happening. i will not be stymied by the post office. never! (fist pounding on desk).
so to solve this lame-o situation will take some time, some patience and unfortunately, some gas. as i am going back to the same post office today to mail the initial six and gather six more boxes. i am then going to the next closest shipping-capable location and conning them out of as many as i can get and i will do this tomorrow and friday and saturday if i have to so these bags will get to their new homes before labor day.
and i did order an additional 40 boxes online for future shipping. i’ll play the game once, but twice? come on, meow.