have you ever seen “COPS”? what am i saying? duh, do you breathe air?
you know how on that show, the criminals are always idiots and the police are the good guys that come in and solve the situation either by force or by outsmarting the criminals? well, here is a real life example of what it would be like if the roles were reversed.
‘wucha dun did now‘ is the title of the future best seller, ‘ghetto handbook’, created by school district police officers in houston. not only was it created by a few of these school policemen, but also distributed by them as well. to other policemen. in the same district. brilliant.
there are so many ways to go with this, my head is spinning.
first of all, i realize now that all of the police academy movies were actually documentaries.
secondly, proves the rumor true that reno 911 is actually shot in houston.
third of all, kids, there has never been a stronger argument to stay in school. not only can you get a diploma, but you can learn how to talk like you didn‘t get one. the way i see it, the kids in houston are getting a two-fer.
i’m from the ozarks originally, (yes, i watched hee haw, yes, i was obsessed with barbara mandrell, yes, i call canoing ‘floating’), and i think i could make a buck or two off of that fact. how’s about a ‘hillbilly handbook’?
here are some key phrases i’d include:
1. where you at? (where are you?)
2. that ain’t it (that is not correct)
3. you don’t know nuthin’ (you are not smart)
4. that there’s kin (they are a family member)
5. dern it! (darn it!)
6. like at (like that)
7. this here one (this particular piece)
8. her don’t know no better (she doesn’t know what’s right)
9. mondee (monday)
10. couple-three (two or three)
now, here is where i run into a problem. when i was in high school, our security guard was on it. if you parked in the parking lot without a pass, this guy new about it. if you tried to sneak away for lunch, he knew about it. if you parked on the sidewalk instead of a real space, he knew about it, (don’t ask how i know that one, i just heard it somewhere).
i hardly think that ‘sarge’ (yes, he had the one-word nickname) would promote my handbook, let alone help me write it. and he probably knows (and potentially uses) better phrases than the ones i’ve got.
so, i think i’ll just leave it to the boys in blue in texas. besides, you can’t beat that title with a stick.
have a great long weekend!! get your hair did.