so, the second year i was here, we had a bunch of our girlfriends from college come visit for the weekend of the PGA tournament, the FBR Open.
the night before we hit the tourney, we had a big party at our house and it was really fun/funny. these girls are my core group of girlfriends from college and the ones i still keep in touch with on a regular basis and miss the most about college. we live all over the country and it’s rare that we all get together unless someone gets married. and unfortunately, we’ve only got one of those left at some point so we’re constantly trying to finagle ways for everyone to meet somewhere. since this particular weekend, we have not been very successful at it.
at some point during the night, we decided to start a list of things that we felt were uber lame. we’re really not a bunch of negative nancy’s, we just really like to make fun of people and things. people in scottsdale and famous people being our favorite.
this list, once we completed it at the end of the night, was up on our fridge for months after that. then we bought a new fridge and i had no idea where it went.
until two weeks ago, i found it when i was cleaning out my office. and i am so happy that i am going to post it for all of you. as you read it, you can tell we went through phases of different subjects, but all are lame. there are 25 of them, i’ll start at the bottom.
25. STAR RENYOLDS (the fat version)
24. J-LO (double lame now that she’s preggo with twin mini-Lo’s)
23. MARIAH CAREY (how many perfumes can one person make? she still smells like crazy to me)
22. OLSEN TWINS (aka aliens)
21. BAREFOOT BRITNEY FEDERLINE (who knew she could get so much worse. i’d give a lot for her to just be caught barefooted at this point)
20. JUAN’S GASSY ROTTEN ASS (at this point, we had a brand new kitty, who would go into the room where some of the girls were sleeping and drop the worst bombs ever and then leave. he since has a new home. i’m not kidding)
19. BEER SLOB, AKA BRIAN GREGORY (some lame dude we went to college with. beer slob is the perfect nick-name for this guy)
18. KIA OPTIMA (this should be any kia, really)
17. WILLIE C’S (a horrible restaurant where i waited tables for a bit in college. has since gone bankrupt. thank god)
16. THE LADIES MAN, AKA ADAM PIRRI (‘nother lame guy from college who was anything but. thankfully, he’s a cop now. i hope you pick up my sarcasm)
15. MIKE EFFORTS (apparently this was the lame guys from KU section)
14. GUY FROM SHANE, CO. AD (still lame two years later. in fact, he’s lamer)
13. CORAL FROM REAL WORLD (‘member her? i heard chemical brothers did “smack my bitch up” for her)
12. UNO’S PIZZERIA (still bad)
11. RUBY TUESDAY’S (yes)
10. APPLEBY’S (okay)
9. CHILI’S (we get it, jesus, all right already)
8. LONG JOHN SILVERS (now this belongs here. for sure. where else can you get a basket of three different fried foods? including random little fried batter pieces? other than the fair, i mean)
7. SHANIA TWAIN (yes, i know her sob story about her parents, but remember hearing ‘let’s go girls!” da da d-na na da da!! horrible, horrible sound)
6. TARA REID (has anyone ever voluntarily been to tara-dise? i was only there because i was too hung over to lift the remote. and i was still way smarter than her at that moment)
5. PARIS HILTON (should be higher, but, this was two years ago)
4. JOHN HOULIHAN (john was later scratched out. he was another KU guy and we felt bad. he was nice. slightly annoying, but nice and paid for many a beer at “west”)
3. MATCHBOX 20 (yes. yes. yes)
2. CREED ( seriously, did you think they wouldn’t make the list? as if)
1. GOO GOO DOLLS (i cannot stand the goo goo dolls, still to this day. nice hair, bro. posh spice called, she wants her ‘do back. you could take the lyrics from each goo song, and exchange them with the words of any other song and you’d never be able to tell the dif. every song sounds the same. the only one you know is the one from that super crappy movie with nicholas cage and meg ryan with angels and what-not. what’s their new song called? anybody? i know. it’s called “DECRODED” PIECE OF CRAP)
if i had to add anything today, i’d put the show “something…the kardashians” on E! somewhere in the top 5. it’s all cougars and bengals (if you don’t know what a bengal is, ask). i’d also add kate moss, t-pain, mcdreamy (i’m sure i’ll get crap for listing that one. he sucks and you know it. stop drinking the kool-aid on that one, the ride’s about over.), and barry bonds just for being a total dusche.
see any gaping holes in there?