so, last weekend, the husband and i went up to the mountains in arizona and snowboarded.
it was awesome. tons of snow, lots of sun, and i ran into some friends to ride with, while the husband was off practicing.
i literally almost ran into them. i was in the singles line and said, “hey, can i ride with you guys?” to the next two guys in line. they reply, “sure.” so, we all three hop on the chairlift.
about 30 seconds into the ride, i realize that i recognize the voice on the far end of the chair. i lean over and stare at him and say, ‘i know you. you’re jen’s friend.” he just stares at me. i say, “i’m erin.”
“oh my god! i couldn’t tell who you were!”
i know. i couldn’t hardly recognize myself with the gear on. the other guy he was with is on my softball team and we didn’t recognize each other. apparently eyes and nose are the major features of the face. huh.
so, i got to ride with two friends for the next two hours. it was a blast. i even went off a jump and got some air. and ate it. fantastic.
so, at the end of the second day, the husband and i are unstrapping from our boards and getting ready to go in for some apres brews when i see this guy.
he’s about 10 yds away from me and he’s holding two bottles that have bright red liquid in them. so, i stare at him and realize that they are wine coolers, aka White Trash Accessory #1. since i’m already staring at the wine coolers, i continue checking him out, because something just isn’t right. as he gets closer to me, i notice that he is wearing bib ski pants, aka White Trash Accessory #2. wearing bibs to ski in is a step below wearing a onsie, i’d say. at least if you wear the onesie right, you can call it retro. bibs are straight up hillbilly, no matter how you slice it.
i continue to look at him, because there is more that’s wrong with this picture. as i look at his face, i see that he is sporting the strap-on motorcycle-like goggles. always, the best choice for White Trash Accessory #3.
but that’s not it. as he passes me, i continue to stare at this man because i’m missing something. is it the ski boots? no. is it his pants tucked into his ski boots? nope. his coat from 1972? no.
holy shit. i got it.
um, apparently, this guy was riding his bike down the mountain.
people, if you only read one sentence, read this one:
BIKE HELMETS ARE NOT SKI HELMETS. PERIOD.
this guys house definitely had wheels. i think i saw it parked in the parking lot.