as i was scouring the news today for some nonsense to write about, sandy eggo state dropped in my lap.
for those asleep at the wheel, the po-po arrested something like 75 students for drug possession, sales, and other shizz that goes along with that. here’s a piece of the article:
“Authorities say among those arrested was a student who worked as an employee of the campus police and was one month away from graduating with a masters degree in Homeland Security. Another suspect found with 500 grams of cocaine and two guns is a criminal justice major.”
am i the only one who thinks this is hysterical? no? good. because it gets better.
“As part of the investigation, the Drug Enforcement Agency and San Diego State University police say they infiltrated seven fraternities on campus, finding that most or all of the members were aware of the drug dealing activity in their organizations.”
first off, our “campus police” were called “parking dicks” by everyone on campus. well, not everyone; just the students.
secondly, you can now get a master’s degree in homeland security? serious waste of money. anyone who’s ever witnessed that organization in action should know that hellen keller could run it with her eyes closed. oh…right.
thirdly, it’s extremely obvious that nary a one of the “authorities” in this raid has ever a) been in a frat, b) known anyone in a frat, c) ever sat next to anyone in a frat, d) ever driven by a frat house, e) ever heard the term “frat”. of course, they knew. and of course, they didn’t tell. what do you think paid for all of their khakis?
the article isn’t even the best part. after finding this story on a local news website, i started reading the comments in response to the story. GOLDMINE. here are some of the best ones.
us4 wrote, “How embarrassing, frickin kids are at a University doing this crap. If I were their parent they would be begging to stay in jail.” probably. i know i’d rather face a judge than get my ares beat by my folks who work at 7/11.
phxnative08 chimes in with, “More crazy news i see. First they seized hundreds of guns at a gun store in Phx and now they have busted college kids with drugs!! What is going on in this country!?!?!?! Lets add to our overcrowding prisons with kids who were just having fun. It’s not like they are the bloods/crips in the 80’s killing people. At least they are in college getting an education. Is it just me or have there been a lot of petty busts getting a lot of media attention?” um, while you make a valid statement on the college story, let’s go back to the gun bust for a minute. they busted that gun shop after an 11 month investigation because they were selling drugs illegally across the border and then those guns were being used in crimes back here. the drugs at SDSU stayed in the US. big difference.
cheechsbong says: “I heard they busted the ASU cheerleaders for the same thing.
500 lbs of Crack hidden in them thongs.” brilliant.
goldmentor gives one of my favorites: “DRUGS ARE FOR LOSERS!!
Kick them out of school, no refund of tuition, classes or books.
Give that money to students who truly want to better themselves in a positive manner.” obviously also never been to college. refunds? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
tdhurst (who i think put his real photo on there) writes: “Drugs I understand. BUt guns? Come on, guys.” yeah, because who ever heard of druggies with guns? good work, td. good work.
azcensorme is sheer brilliance: “I wonder how many were wearing affliction shirts.” we should be friends.
don’t think mccainiac08 will let this one go. he blurts this fantastic air: “It is only going to get worse if Obama is elected. They were probably at an Obama campaign rally. Because the only people that are going to vote for Obama are the pothead hippie losers.” totally. and they hate war too. especially worthless ones.
gvjane4 comes back with this awesomeness: “These are all of those great YOUTH VOTE….OBAMA IS ATTRACTING! WAIT UNTIL 4 YEARS FROM NOW…grammer schools will graduate from crack to Mexican gold heroin… STUPID PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY! “The President did it…and it didn’t hurt him….”. i don’t even know what this means.
the comments on our local stories are almost better than comments on youtube. check ’em out here for yourself if you have braincells and time to waste.