you can do a lot with DURTBAGZ, i’m not going to lie. you can carry just about anything you want in them, as proved in this video. they are appropriate anywhere, except maybe church. and they make you laugh, if you are a decent human being and have half a brain.
but i got an interesting question the other day, in DurtMail, and i feel it needs to be clarified.
timmy wrote, “dear bag lady. i’ve been taking your advice and using my DURTBAG for just about everything. i take it hiking. i take it to the grocery store. i take it to the dentist. i take it to the dog park. i take it to the gymnasium. i take it to work at sears. i take it to the golf course and fill it with extra balls and rockstar energy drink, for obvious reason. but i have to tell you, i found myself out of food the other night and thought i’d give the DURTBAG a shot. it was teribly tough to chew and gave me super rotten butt. i just thought i’d let you know so you can warn you other worshippers. things were not pretty for about 24 hours.
thanks, timmy. you bring up a great point that obviously needs to be dealt with.
people: DO NOT EAT YOUR DURTBAGZ. they are not edible nor nutritious. nor are they food. please use them on the exterior of your body only.
don’t believe me? fine, see for yourself. they are bagz, people. polyester blend bagz. not a meal.
just wanted to clarify before i get more of these letters.