for those of you people that don’t watch “30 Rock” (and SHAME, SHAME IF YOU DON’T!), this is a fake illness one of Jack’s girlfriends, phoebe, had. it made her bones so tender and brittle that anytime anyone touched her, kissed her, patted her on the back, or SHOOK HER HAND, she said, ‘Ow’.
what does this have to do with cindy mccain? she went to the hospital yesterday because her hand hurt from someone shaking it. from this point on, we shall call her “phoebe2”, as she obviously has avian bone syndrome.
avian bone syndrome has many, many symptoms. lots in which now seem obvious that phoebe2 has had for a while. they include:
cakeface: face that is covered with pounds of caked-on make-up.
stiffface: a face that doesn’t move, no matter how hard person tries.
nopersonality: unable to show emotions.
attractedtooldpeople: likes spending time with senior citizens and on occasion, marrying them.
tightlips: hardly speaks when others are around.
brainfreeze: unable to think for themself.
betterthaneveryone: expects above average treatment for things like transportation
really, it seems as though we should have diagnosed this much sooner. unfortunately, it took a meth addict (why else would they be at republican event and want to shake her hand?) to make it crystal clear. bad, bad pun.
phoebe2, keep your hands to yourself. and your husband no further than 15 feet from the nearest walker.
think this is funny? i know. our bags are even better. check ’em out at Durtbagz.com.