How to not be super lame at school.
Here are the five absolute worst things you could put into your shoulder book bag for school. Unless you like being super lame. How do I know this? I’m the Head Bag Lady, at Durtbagz.com. I know school bags and I know lame.
5. Random Rocks/Gravel: rocks can be sharp and heavy. they really serve no purpose at school and take up awkward space in your book bag.
4. Mickey Rourke Lunchbox: highlights and facelifts are no way to go through school.
3. Bandanas: bandanas do not belong in your bag. they belong tied to the end of a large stick, in a pouch-like way, full of your school books.
2. Ice Cream Cone, w/Ice Cream: you know the rule, you have to bring one for the entire class or you don’t get to have yours. too expensive.
And the number one thing you should never put into your shoulder book bag for school is:
1. Crawdads. too skiddish, especially in dark places. once he’s in there, you’ll never get him out and no one will believe you that he’s in there to begin with.
I can suggest a few things that you should consider “staples” in your school bag.
First off, dump all your loose change into the bottom of your bag. This way, you’ll always have candy money when the band folks come around to sell it to you. Do you really want to be the only kid in class without a $100 Grand that day? No.
Secondly, I always had a great merlot on hand whenever I left the house. You just never know when you’re going to hit up a dinner party at the last second.
And lastly, consider keeping an US Weekly in there. It’s much more interesting than physics and falls into the category of “Current Events” so you definitely won’t get into trouble reading in class.
Have a question for the Head Bag Lady, at Durtbagz.com? Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She knows bags.