Suggestions for Carrying Your Book Bag
You know the “book bag bully”: It’s the person that decks some poor soul with his awkward bag, while boarding an airplane. He’s also the guy that knocks a drink off the table, while gathering his things from a restaurant. And she’s drilled the person next in line, while turning around with a gigantic book bag on her back. Yep, being the Head Bag Lady for Durtbagz.com, I have seen it all.
Anyone who has ever demolished anything with their bag, due to the way they were carrying it in that situation knows that things can get real bad, real quick. I’ve seen it too many times, and that is why I’ve come up with a list of tips on how to carry your bag in tricky situations.
First up: the airport. This one is the perfect situation for a “book bag bully.” Lots of people in lots of tight lines and spaces, typically cramming as much as they can into their carry on bag. If you have a big book bag, the best way to carry it, is in your hands, out of the way, and safely near the floor. The worst way is to swing it in a circle, over your head, like a helicopter.
Next scenario: school hallway. Kids have to carry around lots of books while they are at school. On top of that, they also cram their lives in there, making their bags lethal weapons. The best way I’ve found to carry a large book bag around at school, is on your front, like you’d be carrying a baby in a snuggle. This works for two reasons: 1. you always have your bag in your line of sight, so you don’t take out the kid next to you that hasn’t grown since 4th grade, and 2. the girls who are pregnant in your school feel less like outcasts.
Last scenario: on the bus. This is an especially tricky situation; whether it be a school or public bus. It’s hard to know how much time you’ve got to locate a seat and actually sit down, once you board the bus. And this can create a problem. 1. You’re caught off guard, awkwardly grabing for a pole to keep yourself upight, while your huge bag shifts to one side of your body, and almost takes you down. 2. You lunge for the nearest seat, and immediately sit down, keeping your bag on your back, and only having two inches of seat to sit on, forcing your quads to work overtime for the next 34 blocks. 3. You manage to find a spot to stand, but your bag is so big that you cannot move an inch once the bus starts, forcing you to miss your stop because you have no idea where you are. The best way to handle the bus, any bus, is to get there early enough to find a seat, and have time to move your bag from your back to your lap. The worst way is to take your bag off, and enter the bus, carrying it at shoulder level, drilling everyone seated square in the head, one row at a time.
Hopefully, you’ll find these tips usefull for the next time you find yourself in tight and uncomfortable situations with your book bag. It’s one thing to look lame, it’s entirely another to act lame. Take it from me, I know lame.