why am i researching mom blogs? because there is a little durtbag on the way.
i am so funny, that one gets me every time.
i’m researching mom blogs because i need shoppers and moms account for basically all of the shopping done in the world. that might be an exaggeration, but it’s a fact. i know what i’m talking about because 60% of the time, i’m right 100% of the time.
have you ever googled “mom blog directories”? yes, there are actually tons of directories just for mom blogs because of the billions of them out there. currently, i’m sifting through a fraction of them to find ones that a) are actually worth reading and b) can send some traffic my way, via word of mouth, since so many durtbagz are bought as funny gifts for someone else.
i don’t want people to want one for free to review and give one away on their site, where their readers sit with their hands out, wanting freebies, looking like baby birds wanting to be fed. because that gets me nothing but annoyed and out a durtbag.
back to the title of this post. researching mom blogs = hot poker in right eye is because of the fact that the vast majority of mom blogs that i’ve come across SUCK ARSE. there are the few sparkley ones in the mud, but really, it’s not pretty out there.
for example, one called “what’s that smell?” is worth the read, even for childless girls like me. another one called “can’t hardly wait” got my attention not only because the title is one of the best movies to come out of the 90’s, but also because the first post i saw was titled “internet douche bags“. i’ll probably be life-long friends with that woman.
here’s why some of them suck.
1. their titles. now, i’ve changed the title of this baby a couple of times, but i don’t think that any of the versions so far have made someone barf in their mouth like “tales from a breastfeeding mom“. i puked a little bit just typing that.
2. their descriptions. if somewhere in the description are the words “princess”, “cutest”, “perfect”, “breastfeeding”, or “christ”, i will never read your blog. however, on the flip side of that, if included are the words “ridiculous”, “hilarious”, “unplanned”, or “martini” i will subscribe to the feed without reading a sentence.
3. their point. if the point of your blog is strictly reviews, i’m not interested. yes, you could easily share your thoughts on durtbagz with your readers. but really, we all know they only read your blog for the freebies that you constantlygive them, they don’t go there for the reviews or to find new, sweet products. this pretty much wipes out any possibility of someone actually going to durtbagz.com and paying me for my product. if the point of your blog is to tell everyone every detail of your child’s life, pass. if i wanted to be bored/annoyed, i’d watch a kate hudson movie, post almost famous.
if the point of your blog is to talk about real, funny, sad, embarrassing things you go through with your children, i’m there. hearing about kids swearing in public at inappropriate times is funny all day long.
those are really the only criteria for a blog that i’d like to conect with. yet, it is insanely hard to sift through the crap.
sometimes they pass these qualifications, only to fail because their writing is nothing like they have described. if you talk about how much more wine you drink now that you have children and in the next sentence declare that your kids have to give 10% of their allowance to “the church” (that is a real example), i’m probably not going to read your blog also, you are a lying liar.
i’ve found about 10 that i like so far, and i’ve probably ditched 100 that are junk. and by junk, i mean they list everything their child has ever done and exactly how they did it and what they said while doing it and what they were wearing and how they smelled and what time of day it was and the food they ate for lunch and…and PS no one cares that much about children that aren’t their own, so, lock it up.
anyway, i know this direction will work for durtbagz. i’ll get some sales and connect with some great people. but seriously? one of the most painful things i’ve ever done.
also, i don’t recommend reading mom blogs before you’re actually a mom. wowee wow wow, weird stuff happens to all sorts of things in all sorts of ways when kids show up. and by weird, i mean completely gross and disgusting. let’s just say there’s only one acceptable place for poop and it involves a toilet. ill.
anybody got any good mom blogs they read and would like to share/vouch for?
just to show my appreciation, if you send me a mom blog that i deem worthy of adding to my reader, i’ll put your name in a drawing for a free durtbagz shirt. so, you can’t send me “breastfeeding a five year old” or whatever lame one you happen to come across. it’s got to be worth my time.
send me your mom blogs and i’ll send one of you a durtbagz shirt. straight up.