Don’t make yourself look stupid by giving a bad gift.
The worst gift i ever received was a “Wish Pearl“. It is this horribly cheesy “oyster”, complete with seawater container. You crack open it, and voila! Your very own wish pearl, with multiple uber tacky ways to wear it around your neck. It sounds like a gift that most kids would like to get, and maybe I was just being ungrateful. However…
I was given this for Christmas last year when I was 30.
There are just a few, very simple questions you have to ask yourself, when searching for the right gift for someone in order to avoid looking stupid by giving them something completely inappropriate as a “Wish Pearl”.
1. How old is this person?
2. Does this person have Erasure on heavy rotation in their car?
3. Will he/she think that a farting stuffed bunny is funny or embarrassing?
4. Does this person enjoy knitting?
And lastly, 5. Does this person get four servings of dairy a day?
Knowing a few little things can help make a clear path for you to find them a gift that doesn’t suck. Here’s how:
1. The age of a person determines which novelty gag gifts are appropriate. A few tips: ages 0-5 don’t get them anything, it’s a waste of money. They barely remember they know you and you rarely get a thank you note. Age 70+: anything with the words “Old Fart” on it.
3. This one is HUGE. I don’t actually know where to get a farting stuffed bunny, but that isn’t the point. The point is, do they think farting is funny, no matter the circumstances, even when something as sweet as a little stuffed bunny does it? If so, then sky’s the limit for novelty gag gift options. If not, they have Starbucks gift card written all over them.
4. People who like knitting are the easiest people to get gifts for: Yarn. The end.
5. Dairy servings. This is important for one reason: ice cream cake. If you never see a dairy product in sight when they are around, chances are good you’re going to have to go with yellow cake without sour cream frosting. Try to avoid being friends with these people. Everyone knows ice cream cakes kick ass.
Remembering these five questions when gift giving will keep you out of the “bad gift givers club”. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received?